Pre-Valentine's Day Confessions

Alright, so this is actually something really hard for me to write, but I figure that there are other people out there who can relate. I have some confessions to make.

I have never been in love before my Daddy. Sure I dated. I even dated a guy for over a year, but never loved him. The words were never exchanged nor were the feelings there. I have had boyfriends over Valentine's Day before. I've gotten candy, flowers, and bracelets. I've always been unimpressed with the holiday. To me, it seems like a holiday that forces romanticism. Don't get me wrong, I've always enjoyed the gifts, dinners, and cards, but I don't like the thought of expressing your love tenfold on a certain day. I've always believed that you should treat your other as if Valentine's Day is everyday.

Granted, I never really had a person that I felt a deep level of love for. So, this Valentine's Day, sort of feels like my first. It is the first time that I can say that I actually want something from the day. The other times, it never really mattered what happened, because I didn't really care about the person. But I love my Daddy, and I want something this Valentine's Day.

The thing is... I don't know what I want. I don't think I really care what I get, but I want it to be thoughtful. To be honest, a stuffed animal or some slippers would mean more to me than some flower, but then again, if the flowers were from him I would love them just as much.

I'm scared though. I'm scared that he won't do anything. And that thought makes me want to cry. Seriously, like I think about it and tears start to form in my eyes. How lame is that???

My thoughts haven't changed so much though. I still think that you should treat your other like every day is Valentine's Day, and that we don't need a day to force romanticism. However, a day that you can focus a little more on your special person? Well... that can't be all that bad.

So, stay tuned and see how I feel about 'my first real Valentine's Day'. Fingers crossed that it is good.