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Friday, July 31, 2009

Bras and Panties

I have a love/hate relationship with bras and panties. Because of my well endowed chest, bras rarely come in matching sets with panties. When they do, they are ugly. I have heard that the Playboy store has bras that are good for girls with larger chests, so I may look into that in the future, but I am happy with what I have in my drawers. Then, my only problem with panties is that I love Victoria's Secret panties. They are the most fabulous panties in the world. Comfy and cute. So really, the love/hate part comes in when things don't match. I actually love bras and panties. I hate the fact that I rarely find matching things.

*sighs*

So that's all...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Spank me harder.

My ex used to spank me all the time. He was not as strong as my Daddy, but he was strong. He would spank me over and over and over again until I was crying and begging him to stop. At which point he would usually finger me until I came, then had me sit [ouch!] on a wooden chair and blow him until he came. He got off not only on the stimulation that my mouth provided but the pain he knew I was feeling as I was doing it. Enough about that though... This happened quite often. I built up a tolerance to it. In the beginning I could take ten to twenty hits, and at the end of our relationship I was taking many many many more.

I miss that tolerance. It has been more than a little bit since I have been with him, so when Daddy and I were together, the spankings hurt like hell. I will admit, I felt like I let him down. I felt like such a disappointment. I wanted more, I really did, I want to be able to take more hits, harder hits. I felt myself squirming subconsciously. I felt myself trying to get away from the hits. When he started spanking me while I was going down on him, it hurt. I know, that doesn't make any sense, I like the pain. The pain turns me on, but I just felt like I was a wussy. I felt like such a disappointment. I wish that I could take more. I wanted more. In my head I could hear my brain pleading for more and more and MORE. However, my butt was screaming for it to stop... I want the pain. I feel like I am such a... failure almost. :( I really do want more though...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Kinky Friends

I was about to fall asleep last night when my phone vibrated, TEXT MESSAGE! I had already said goodnight to my Daddy, but we are in the middle of some important things so I thought perhaps it was him. It wasn't, it was Manhattan. For those of you who do not follow my other blog, Manhattan and I used to be best friends. She treated me poorly and walked all over me. I distanced myself from her and now we really don't talk... except about sex. Go figure... Usually I would not talk about sex, especially my sex life, with someone who I wasn't close with. It's not like you can go up to just anyone and say, my boyfriend choked me last night and it was WONDERFUL! However, out of the whole friendship that we had, something that I did realize is that I could trust her. So anyway, she texted me last night and asked if I had ever used a ball gag. The conversation spiraled into different things her boyfriend could spank her with and different things he could tie her up with.

I know it might sound silly, but I was so happy! *sing song voice* My friend is kinky... My friend is kinky... My friend is kinky... She may not realize it fully yet, and perhaps isn't at an experienced level, but then again, I'm not at an experienced level yet either. So, I just wanted to tell you. :D

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What I Want.

Have you ever spent the entire day craving something? Today, I woke up and went about my day. Early in the morning my mind was drifting [how surprising...] towards naughty things. And everything that I was thinking of, ended in a facial. Every time, every scenario, every single naughty thought had a facial in it!!! They are hot, and the thought of them gets me off, but I also get off to other things too. Usually I am not so preoccupied with facials. I don't know what got into me.

However, I can get down on my knees soon enough and beg my Daddy to paint my face with all of his cum...

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Stream of Consciousness.

I read about how one girl does a stream of consciousness blog a couple of times a week or so, I think it is an interesting idea. I am going to try it. I am going to write for ten solid minutes, no censor. The only thing I will correct is spelling mistakes. :) Starting... NOW!

I am wondering how this is actually going to turn out. I wonder if I will actually end up writing anything kinky that deserves to go in this blog or if it'll be all boring and if it should go in my other blog. I just wrote an interesting blog post there. You should go read it... I love reading. I wish I knew more kinky things to read though. There is a kinky book club on fetlife that I keep meaning to join. Daddy is a part of it. I know he was looking at this list that they posted there for summer kinky reading. I really should go check that out. I miss Daddy. Fuck, I miss him a lot. I know I will see him soon though. I need sex though. I am craving it. I feel like I am going through withdrawal. Masturbation is nice and everything, but it is not the same as sex. I mean, I get off, but it is just not as good. Which I guess is a good thing. You wouldn't want to be happier playing with yourself than you are having your partner to play with.

There are some birds outside my window and my cat is going NUTS. It is sort of cute. Not that he is irritated, he just is cute. I get sad when I think about leaving him. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. He sleeps with me, follows me around, and is just the best kitty EVER.

Shoot, my wrists are starting to hurt. 6 minutes left. No biggie. I can do this. I am drawing a blank. I drew a penis the other day. It looked pretty good if you asked me. I wasn't even really trying, just doodling. My mind is constantly on sex. I am always thinking about it. I want him so badly. I love it when he bends me over and takes me from behind. Just how he is able to fuck me so brilliantly that way makes me cum sooo quickly. I love it. I love him. I am still surprised at this all sometimes. He came into my life in such an ordinary way. I am so beyond lucky. I can't believe of all the people on the wide web, we found each other. Against all odds. I could have never imagined how much I love him before. He is amazing. He makes me so happy. Gosh, I am all over the place, which is cool, that's what this is all about after all. Three more minutes... And to think I was going to do 15 minutes! I would have been in agony. Agony is a bit of a strong word there.

My Daddy is so strong. It is such a turn on. My ex was strong, but not that strong. Thinking about how much pain he could inflict on me just gives me soaked panties every time. He gets my girl cum flowing... He turns me on more than any other guy before him. I don't know how he does it. He knows exactly what to say/write/do. It's just WHO he is that turns me on.

Alright, that was 10 minutes. :) It was fun. It has sexual elements, so I'm going to leave it here.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Below Him.

One of the things I remember most strongly about Daddy's trip visit in May, was this one time he was asking me how I liked something. But that wasn't the important thing, the important thing was our positioning. He was sitting on the bed, and I was on the floor at his feet. It was so perfect. It felt so right. I loved being there, looking up at him. My heart felt as ease.

Last week I tried to do it often, I didn't get to as often as I liked, but it did happen. There is this certain peace about it. I don't really know how to explain how it feels, I just know that I love the way it feels. Being able to look up at his face was like the ultimate view. It was this calming effect on me.

Well, this is a short blog, I just wanted to tout off my adoration for being at my Daddy's feet...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Random Acts of Sex.

So, when I wrote about last week in the large blog post, I glossed over and plainly didn't mention certain sexual acts. Some of them I don't know if I want to talk about, because I want them to be mine. I know that sounds weird, but it's just how it is. However, the week was sex filled. Daddy and I talk about him "breaking me" a little. Well, he actually did. We fucked and fucked and fucked. It was quite fantastic. However, then Wednesday morning, we were having sex and something felt... wrong. It hurt like HELL. Not the good kind of pain either. I managed to cum through the pain two or three times when he was on top, but when I got on top to ride his cock, the pain was too much. I tried to hide my face, I wanted him to cum before I stopped, but he knew that something was wrong. See, my Daddy has the most marvelous cock in the whole wide world. As you would expect from the most marvelous cock, he is not only long, but thick too. [as thick as my wrist in fact...] Well, apparently when you fuck like crazy for two days, some ripping occurs. I can honestly say the pain that I felt as I was riding him was CRAZY!!!! He plucked me off of him and told me it was okay. To be honest, I felt awful about it, I wanted him to cum! I wanted to have SEX!!! It just was not happening because of the pain... :( it was awful. But we just didn't have intercourse for a day and it was all better [for the most part]. I was able to get down on my knees like a good little whore.


Another random sex act- There was a chair and ottoman in our hotel room. Comfy enough and everything. Well one day I got to get down on my knees in between his legs. I love giving him head. His cock is perfect and I really love feeling him in my mouth. There is something about having his cock in my mouth, sucking and pushing my head down further to take him all the way into my mouth. It's a treat everytime. I'm not talking about the treat that shoots from it, but it is great everytime I hear him moan and call me his dirty little cocksucker. It's this... contentment that I get everytime that put him in my mouth. Sounds weird, but I love it. Well, back to the chair. After showing my Daddy's cock the proper lovin' that it deserves I got a very special treat. Daddy rubbed his cock on my face while it exploded there, leaving his delicious cum coating my face. It was.... amazing. I love being his dirty little whore. I loved being marked by him...

Well, that is enough for now. I want to keep the rest of them for me for the moment.

Monday, July 20, 2009

My First Play Party

Last Friday night I went to my first play party. I have been talking to one girl on an adult fetish social networking site and she is one cool chick. Since Daddy was in town last week we decided we would meet up with her and her boyfriend. After messaging back and forth a few times, she invited to a play party that they were attending. I was nervous, but having my Daddy there made it better. So we said we would be there!


I'm usually not a typical girly girl in matters such as clothing. I usually throw something comfortable on and go, but this was a different story. I was worried that I wouldn't have the right dress. Although I had a retro-ish dress that is black with some three large white circles on the bottom that I wore. I ended up actually getting complimented on it a couple of times! But anyways...

We walked in and saw the girl and her boyfriend standing near the door. I have seen pictures of her, but she has never seen my face, so I introduced myself right away. I was a bit nervous, so my hand didn't leave my Daddy's for a moment. We mingled with the people at the party, people kept coming and coming it seemed like. The playing started about a hour or so into the party. The girl who I was chatting with online hopped on top of a cage and got fisted and sucked her boyfriend off. It was quite a show. I know I enjoyed myself. Not only am I an exhibitionist, but I am totally a voyeur too. Better than that though was watching her get spanked on the St. Andrew's Cross. I just love watching people get spanked... and getting spanked. Hearing her cries and the loud SMACKs was such a turn on.

Once that was finished I was overly horny. I pulled down my Daddy's pants and put him into my mouth. I went at him with a hunger, craving his cock. A vaguely knew that people were watching, but at that point, I didn't even care. I just needed him in my mouth. Then we both got to the point where we wanted to be fucking, so he walked around the couch [I was kneeling on the couch and he was behind it standing]. In the time that he walked around, someone complimented how my Daddy "has an amazing cock". :D He really does. Imagine the perfect cock, that's my Daddy's cock!!! I'm so damn lucky. He sat back down and I went at him again with my mouth, deep throating him and using my expertise. Then someone else commented that I looked like a "phenomenal" cocksucker. :D That's right... PHENOMENAL! :D I just love giving head... Then neither of us could take it anymore, Daddy pushed my face down into the leather couch and pushed my dress up my hips and shoved his thick cock into me. By this point I took a quick moment and noticed that we had a crowd. He didn't allow me to look around for too long though, pushing me down and fucking me from behind. [which is seriously one of my FAVORITE positions] I came so hard. It was... unbelievable.

I cleaned up after ourselves and then mingled some more. It was so nice to meet people who are into the same things that I am into. Some are more advanced, some are less, but we all are accepting. I think that is what I like about the people who I have met, there is no real judgement. I don't like knives, you do? Awesome! Tell me about it! I love that everyone is so open. I don't need to hide myself. I am an extremely open person, so the non-judgement thing is VERY important to me.

That was the play party. AMAZING!!!

Serving Daddy

One of my favorite aspects of my week with my Daddy was taking care of him. The little things like getting him orange juice or cleaning up after we ate, filled me with such contentment. I love being able to do things for him, take care of him. I am a firm believer in the 1950s household ways. I think that a woman should take care of her man. Cooking and cleaning is what a woman should do. Don't get me wrong, there are certain things a man can/should do, mowing the lawn, BBQ'ing, and the manly such things. I have tried to explain this to a few people around my age, but they think I'm twisted and backwards. I don't force it on others, but it is what I've seen work. Not to mention, it FEELS GOOD to do.

I got to play house a little with my Daddy this past week and each time that I was able to do the womanly thing, I LOVED it. It feels right. A warm little bubble goes up in my chest, knowing that I am doing it for him, caring for him, making sure that he is taken care of. I love it... *small happy sigh* I just want to do it more, on a larger scale. I want to write more about how fantastic it makes me feel, but it one of those things that I think you either understand, or you don't.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Last Week

Alright, there is so much to post, but I want to do it in some order... I am just going to go day by day. Sadly, I know I will miss things in here, but I just couldn't find the time to post. I remember all the little things, but if I wrote down all of them, it would be a horrendously long blog post.

Tuesday- Tuesday was a fun day. Daddy and I went downtown and had a blast. We saw Transformers 2 and I loved being there with him. Granted, I do wish that we had been the only people in the theater [or that the back row was empty] but that was not the case. However, something so simple, was so great, just because it was with him.

Although I do think this is sort of funny, before we went into our theater a lady stopped us because she was doing a survey. Daddy and I were holding hands and I was huddled pretty close. The lady is reading off all of her questions, "when did you decide to see this movie", "did you read any reviews about the movie", etc. Well, then she says "And..." and points to the sheet of paper. He then answers, "She's my girlfriend". I think it's funny because she was reading ALL of the questions, then decided to point to that particular one. I know that our age difference [16 years] is not the "norm" for girls my age, but I know what I like. I love the public displays of affection too [we are tasteful about it though], so I know that people look. One lady [on a different day] was shooting me the evil eye on the train because I kissed him. *shrugs* oh well... :D

Oh, then, on with Tuesday...

After the movies we went to the hotel that we stayed at a couple of months ago. We rode the elevator up to the top floor, then found the stairwell. We walked up the stairs, crossing our fingers until we reached the door to the roof... AND IT WAS STILL OPEN!!! The last time we were there, we noticed it was open, but never got a chance to do anything up there. So this time we snuck out there and I got on my knees. It was around 6 downtown, there were high rise buildings surrounding us. It was so hot having him in my mouth and knowing that hundreds of people could see us if they knew to look. He then asked if I wanted him to fuck me. I was into the task at hand [or should I say mouth... (cheesy I know...)] so I was shocked when he asked, but happily said YES PLEASE!!! So I bent over and he fucked me from behind until both of us came. Mmm, it was a fantastic time!

Wednesday-

Wednesday we had planned to go watch some fireworks downtown. We went downtown in the early afternoon and walked [and walked... and walked... and walked... :P] around. We saw an apartment building that had apartments for rent and went inside to check it out. I loved the apartments, but really, I think I am just in love with the thought of him being up here full time. You could show me a 120 sq foot box for 12,908,429,700 dollars in rent a month and I would love it. Okay... maybe not that expensive... Still, you get the gist. The thing I love most, that really was proven this week, is that we are compatible on more than just a sexual level. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. We get along just great in the forms that we get along in, but I was a tad nervous about in real time... if that makes any sense at all... We totally do though. He knows how to make me smile, laugh, feel good, all that good stuff.

So then, we watched fireworks and came back to our hotel room. I collapsed. I am such a weenie when it comes to bed times. I fall asleep sooooo quickly. Then again, I was sleeping next to a hunky naked man who kept me in his arms, of course I fell asleep.

Thursday- Thursday we walked some more... lol, I just want to say, I am great with walking, absolutely fine with it! Although, I brought the wrong shoes to do any amount of walking exceeding a quarter mile. Here's the thing, I smiled the whole time we were together! He was great. We went to an aquarium and had an amazing time. I was a total little kid about it. I love that kind of stuff though, museums and aquariums. Not to mention, I was with someone who I love, what is better than that?

After the aquarium we went to an Irish restaurant, which was really really good. I tried mussels [they were mussels right?????] for the first time, and yummy! I just liked being with him. Sitting next to him and talking, being there, it felt right.

After that we went to a local attraction that is a HUUUUGE Ferris wheel. It goes really slowly and you have a view of the city. So, Daddy and I decided to take a ride. Of course on our ride things manage to get a bit out of hand [and into mouth ;)]. I love having him in my mouth. Sucking his cock is honestly one of my favorite things to do. Although the Ferris wheel did end... :( but then we walked down to see more attractions, ended up taking a sightseeing boat ride, and had fun there too [not of the naughty sort though]. That's what I love though, we can have our naughty fun, but have other fun too. It's not all about sex and naughtiness. He is so caring, the small kisses and holding hands, that makes my heart melt. He makes it so easy to love him.


We then took a bus to a different area of downtown and went to a munch. I was super nervous. I didn't know what to expect. However, having him there was what made it all doable. I had a lot of fun, met some really great people, and can't wait to go back. It was really nice to meet people in my area and to meet people who I could talk about things with. I am going to try and make it back there at least once in the next two weeks.


Friday- Friday was amazing. I was told by a friend that I had been talking to online for a while [and trying to arrange a meeting with her and her SO] that there was a play party on Friday and that if we could make it, we should come. Daddy and I talked about it, and figured that we had nothing else planned, why not? Once again, I was soooooo nervous. I think this time more than Thursday night. I didn't know what was going to go on. I had never been to a play party. I'd like to think I didn't let my nerves show as much, but knowing me, I was probably shaking from how anxious I was.


Before I get into the play party though, he and I took a nap [yummy... naps...] together. It was a long one, but a glorious one. I just love sleeping next to him. I can say that it is one of those things that I got used to and am missing terribly.


After the play party, Daddy was hungry and the only place around the train station was a McDonald's. Also considering the time, it was probably one of the few things that would have been open besides bars. So we went in, and I got a happy meal. Which is what I usually get there, but this time I was excited because the toy that comes with it was Beenie Babies. I was holding off on buying anything this whole time, because my mom thought I was on vacation with some girlfriends, not having a wild crazy sex week with my Daddy... BUT, a beenie baby wouldn't give away location! So I got the happy meal and inside was a ladybug. It sounds silly, but I love it. I named it immediately. :D I'm a total girl about that apparently, but I really don't care...


Saturday- we slept in, which is understandable from the early morning hour that we got to bed at. I was a little sad Saturday because I was thinking, this is my last full day with him, or I only have "x" hours left. But then I realized, I can't think like that, because it is taking the fun out of the moment. He and I had a mellow day on Saturday. We went into a new part of downtown and walked around a bit, went into a pet shop and looked around at all the dogs and cats. I am such a sucker for animals. Oh, then Daddy bought a pipe! Like, Sherlock Holmes-esque pipe. I actually really liked it. It doesn't smell bad [although later when we were in the hotel room and he used it, it gave me a small headache, but I think it was the small space that we were confined to.] and it looks neat.

Sunday- Sunday was a hard day for me. Daddy and I had a couple of great sex sessions. So, I have always maintained, that receiving oral is not that great for me. I LOVE giving oral, but a guy going down on me never really had much appeal. Well... DAYUM. He is... amazing... spectacular... phenomenal... Even thinking about his tongue now... *wet panties* Then he got on top of me, fucked me until both of us came and collapsed into a heavy breathing mass. We both needed more of each other though, so he got behind me and fucked me raw. It was the best thing ever. I love him fucking me from behind. He can spank me, pull my hair, choke me, and make me cum so quickly. The positioning of where his cock hits inside of me is just... amazing. We both finished again and laid there. I didn't want to move. I definitely did not want to pack up the room. But it needed to be done. We packed up and left the hotel. Of course, me being the girl that I am, I cried. I did not want him to go. I wanted him to stay. It was really selfish, but I love him... I knew I wanted to be strong, but my tear ducts were not cooperating with me. The extra time at the airport was good, because I was able to be let down a little before complete separation. Although when I went to get inside Platinum's car, I started really crying. The last thing I wanted to do was see him go. I wanted him to STAY! I am lucky with him though, he came back, gave me a hug, and comforted me.

Now, he is gone. I'm at home. I miss him like crazy. Falling asleep last night was brutal. I started crying. All I wanted was to be in his arms. I got spoiled... Sleeping next to him. Getting woken up by having my legs spread open or having him push me down to service him, I miss that. I got my "good morning beautiful" wake up call though, which helped. Then first thing today I went out and bought a webcam. So it's a little better, he can see me on top of me being able to see him.

I am going to write three more blogs today, one about random sex acts that happened, the one about the party, then the other about one of my favorite aspects of the trip.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Monday July 13th

Daddy came into town yesterday, July 13th. Platinum drove me to the airport and met him. She liked him. :D I love the fact that she liked him. It is always wonderful to know that your friends like the person you love.

Seeing him for that first time, was wonderful. It is so different seeing him through a computer screen and being able to see him right in front of me! I can't even tell you how great it was. How utterly perfect. I don't think I have ever smiled as much in my entire life as I have in the time that he has been here. My Daddy, Platinum, and I went to Starbucks and had a really nice time. It was great seeing them together.

Then, the fun started. I am sooooo lucky that the hotel let us check in early. We got into the room, and the bed was a king size. So of course I got on it, commenting on the size. Then Daddy joined me there. Clothes came off, and I came too! :D So did Sky of course. I missed having him inside of me. I never realized how much. I knew that I missed him, but feeling myself stretched around him... dayum. It is one of the most fantastic feeling in the world. I love it when he is on top of me, fucking me, then lays down on me when we are finished. His weight on top of me, feels just right. I can't describe it.

We napped after that. I love being in his arms. I feel safe, and it feels like I am supposed to be there. I missed being in his arms. When his arms are around me, I can't help but smile and melt. I can't describe it other than that, melting. So, we slept. It was an early morning for both of us. Oh! And in the earlier sex session, I was on top and was holding onto the headboard, and it collapsed! It was sort of funny... Anyway...

We went grocery shopping. It is so funny that something so simple can be so great when I am with him. Just walking through the aisles, knowing that I was walking with him, having him next to me. I just love being here with him. I know it'll be hard when he leaves, harder than before, but I am trying not to think about it.

We came back "home" and unpacked. Placed an order with a local pizza place, and waited. We talked, joked, smiled, kissed, all my favorite things. We tried to watch Ghostbusters, but the buffering took FOREVER. To be honest, I didn't mind so much, I got to be next to him, and I could have been going through a root canal and been happy. He just has that affect on me. :) Not that I mind.

We had more delicious sex. Sex is fantastic with him. Don't want to blow his head up too much [well, one of his heads I wouldn't mind blowing all the time...], but it really is amazing. He fucks like... the perfect man. Which he is for me. He might not be everyone's cup of tea, but he definitely is mine.

Sleeping was something that I loved though. Not only knowing he was there made me sleep better, but being able to touch him the whole time, was amazing. I love him...

He woke me up in THE most amazing way this morning, Tuesday July 14th. Mmmm, I can honestly say, it was the best way to be woken up, a cock inside of me. Him opening my legs and pushing himself inside of me. I'm going to lay down next to him now...

<3 Jonsbabydoll

Friday, July 10, 2009

Talk Nerdy to me.

Intelligence turns me on. I am not, and never will be, one of those girls who "plays dumb" to make her man feel smarter or any of that silliness. I am an intelligent girl. I love learning new things, and expanding my knowledge on subjects that I am already well versed in. I have tried dating guys, or hooking up with guys, whose intelligence level is lower than mine. I always thought that I shouldn't discriminate just because they don't know which they're/their/there to use.

I now realize that, it isn't about discriminating, just knowing what I want. I love it that my Daddy is smart. He is smarter than me, and I LOVE it. I am not saying that to belittle my intelligence, because I know that I am smart. However, he is intelligent, and it SUCH a huge turn on. Sometimes I even feel for a moment that I am stupid when I have to ask him to explain something to me, but then I realize, I love needing him like that. I LOVE that he knows more than me. However, I like how he doesn't talk down to me. He knows that I am smart too. We can have conversations out of the realm of which celebrity had the latest breakdown.

:) That's all I wanted to say.

<3 Jonsbabydoll

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Anal Sex.

Alright, this is the topic that I have been taking a while to form the right way to write it. I've never had anal sex. I became sexually active [ugh, I hate that term but it's accurate] at a young age. Well, not terribly young, but not old either. Virginity was never something I was saving for marriage, or for "the one", or any romantic view like that. Being a girl with a higher sex drive, I devoured all the knowledge and most of the experiences that I could. I was safe, but I wanted to know it all. Previous boys/men that I've been with, a couple have specifically asked for anal, others don't, but it was something I was aware of at a younger age.

Anal was not something that intrigued me. I was fine getting my jollies off via other means. My best friend in sophomore year tried anal and hated it. Then in junior year, my other best friend tried it and hated it. I resolved that I was not going to do anal. Well, I guess that is the wrong thing to say. I told myself that I wouldn't do anal unless the guy was REALLY special to me. REALLY special. It was sort of like my new "v-card".

A couple of weeks into knowing my Daddy we were playing online a bit and in our play he virtually slipped a digit into the virgin territory. I was open with him and told him I'd never done any anal play or anal sex. He was a bit surprised, but understood. Even when we were talking about what were some limits, I told him that anal was one of mine. I knew that I wanted it to be with someone special. It might sound completely cheesy, but oh well, I don't care.

The longer I am with him though, the more I become interested and fascinated with it though. Some days I have fantasies about him raping me and taking it, other days, it is a bit more of a girly fantasy. However, he is the only guy that has actually made me WANT to have anal sex... I think that's pretty damn impressive... I'm nervous as hell. I don't know what to expect.

I love him so much. I think that is why I feel safe enough to let him do that. He makes me feel safe in every situation, so why would this be any different?

Well, I guess that is all there is to say...

<3 Soul

Monday.

You have no idea how much I am looking forward to Monday. My Daddy and I are going on a little vacation together. Which is very much needed for both of us. Besides missing him like crazy, my horniness has been sky rocketing.

I have been shirking my blogging decisions to him though. Today he gave me the idea to write about what I am looking forward to most of all. I don't think it that easy... Sexually, I can tell you that I am so excited to take him into my mouth and licking that glorious cock of his. Then I think about him sliding into me, stretching my pussy, and I just about cum from the thought alone! Not to mention the thoughts of one of his hands around my neck as the other slaps my face, telling me to get his cock wet with all my dirty girl cum... How could I choose one of those over another??? Tell me that one! You can't. Because it's impossible.

But I'm not excited about Monday just for the sex though. I love my Daddy. It's not about sex, it's about who he is. I can't wait to hold his hand, to kiss him, to be able to touch him. I can't wait to see him at that first moment. I can't wait to fall asleep next to him. I want to wake up next to him. I want to hear him snore that light little snore that tells me that he has drifted off to sleep. I want to hear him laugh. I want to be held close in his arms, where I feel safe and loved. I want to be with him.

So, I know it might be a COMPLETE cop out, but I can't just choose one thing that I am looking forward to. I love the whole package, I'm looking forward to the whole package.

<3 Jonsbabydoll

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Fantasy

So, I've got some down time, and this blog has become my new favorite thing, so I decided to write some more. I'm sure I'll do this topic more than this one time, but here goes nothing, fantasies. Everyone has them. Everyone has something they fantasize about. Some of mine range from quite 'vanilla' to dirty and dark to funny. Today is a funny one. Well, not funny, but I do think it would be fun. Just something light and, yes, humorous.

Unlike some fantasies, this one has no specific needed time or place, although every time I think about it, I think about it taking place in a bedroom. Although interesting enough, it is never my bedroom [or any bedroom I've ever been in] that's the setting. But that's just when I use the fantasy during my alone time. ;) Back on topic though, this fantasy has no needed setting or time. All that you need to speakers of some kind... and a song by Britney Spears.

Are you hooked yet? I know I would be. Although maybe that's just the horniness talking... Set up the speakers where you are and undress. In my mind I am always laying on the bottom of the bed naked with the other person standing above me. They lean over, growling instructions in my ear, "sing every word, or we start over", simple enough. They press play and "Hit me Baby [One More Time]" streams through the speakers. I struggle not to laugh out loud. I remember the song from my childhood and start to sing along as Britney's voice starts... "Oh Baby, baby...". I go to lean up on my elbows to see better and sing better, but the other person pushes me down, reminding me that I did not have permission to move. I continue to sing, embarrassingly not missing one word. Then the end of the chorus comes, "give me a siiiiiiign, Hit [smack] me baby one more time [smack]". I had some inkling of what was coming, but even so, it was a shock to feel the sharp slap upon my bottom. I miss the start of the next verse. The song gets started over, the same smacks offered at the same places. Enough time in between the spankings to let the pain settle slightly and let the flesh become tender. My mind wanders a little and I miss another word, the song gets repeated and repeated until finally, on the sixth or seventh go, I get through the whole thing.

After that beginning, it can go into different directions. Depends on if I was a "good enough" singer to deserve getting fucked, or if I get ordered around some more. Usually the latter happens in my mind. I just like getting down on my knees, so most of my fantasies involve that somehow. This one is simple and fun. :)

<3 Babydoll

Turn ons/offs

I was thinking about what to blog about today, and came up with the subject of turn ons/offs. Well, there was a nudge into that direction, but I decided today I would write about it. I still have a couple of things that I want to write about but still don't know exactly how to form my thoughts, so they'll be saved for a later time.

Top ten turn ons-
  • 10- Facial hair
  • 9- Nice Arms
  • 8- Hairy Body
  • 7- Tall
  • 6- Sense of humor
  • 5- Nice smile
  • 4- Hygienic
  • 3- Laid back
  • 2- Intelligence
  • 1- My Daddy!!!

Top ten turn offs

  • 10- Body builders [*shudder* bad experience in the past...]
  • 9- Poor oral hygiene
  • 8- Too well dressed all the time
  • 7- Drug user
  • 6- High maintenance
  • 5- Constant partier
  • 4- Smokers
  • 3- Self absorbed
  • 2- Up tight
  • 1- Ignorant

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

TPE: Total Power Exchange

So, I asked Daddy what I should write about today. I was drawing a blank. I have a couple of not well formed ideas in my head, so I needed a special nudge. He asked what I was thinking about today, and I told him quite simply that I was thinking about him fucking me. Simple. Well, then he asked the question, "how?". I responded back, "anyway you want of course". Then he goes and showed off all of his smarts by saying that I should write about how I feel about the TPE thing we do. [TPE stands for Total Power Exchange. I myself was confuzzled at the acronym until he clarified. I just have always seen it written out, silly me I couldn't figure it out until he literally spelled it out] So, I thought it was a marvelous idea. Here it goes...

Total Power Exchange [TPE] is something that my Daddy and I partake in. Trying to find the words to describe how I feel about it is no easy task. It is more than just being submissive, it is giving yourself over to one person. It is the most freeing situation. Sometimes people walk around with a stiff rod in their back [or at least that is how it feels with me] and giving myself freely to him, giving him all of the power over me, allows me to remove that rod and relax. It pleases me immensely to obey him. The rush I get when he tells me to do something [and I listen of course] is like nothing I've felt before. I guess what I am trying to say is that it goes beyond the bedroom. It is more than just him telling me to get down on my knees. I find that I have found my place with my Daddy. I love doing anything that he tells me. It is not about pleasing me, because in the end, I get pleased with doing a job well done for him.

I told Daddy something today that I think fits in with this. I said to him, " I would do anything you asked of me. Not just sexually, but in everyday life. Just thought I should tell you that...". I did not know when I wrote that, that I would be writing this blog topic. It really does fit perfectly. I am not in this for the [deliciously earthshattering mindblowing] sex. There is my submission to him then, but I am his not only in the bedroom, but everywhere. I am his. Completely. No ifs, ands, or buts. That is how I like it. That is what makes me happy.

<3 Soul

Monday, July 6, 2009

Daddy and Babydoll

Well, funny enough, this is the hardest blog to write. Who would have guessed? I am not so good with putting my feelings out there. But I have thought to myself, I love this man, if putting myself out there is something that he doesn't like, maybe that isn't what I want. So, I love him. Hearing him say those words back to me [he said them first too :D ] is magical.

But this is the story of how we met. How Daddy found his babydoll. I belong to an adult website. I post a lot there and am quite popular. This is not a bragging statement, it just is. Well, he had joined and complimented me a few times in public. He was charming, but I didn't really distinguish him from anyone else except for the fact that he knew how to write well. Then one day he sent me a wonderful message privately. I could tell that he meant what he said and that he took time on the message. I checked him out before I replied back. I was a bit wary, he really wasn't a big contributor and I RARELY messaged back "newbies". He even had two things up that I thought him to perhaps be just to be looking for some Internet fun, not what I was looking for. However, something about his message made me go back and reply.

It wasn't a standard reply that I sometimes passed off to a handful of men at a time. I actually responded back. After a few messages we moved it to IMing. Something about him kept me coming back to him. I was exploring another option, but I couldn't for some reason let him go. When this other person and I were together, I couldn't help but wondering about him. Was he ok? I wish that I could IM him... I wanted to talk to him. Even though I was spending time with another person. That should have been my first indicator that he had somehow gotten into my head.

The other person ended up being a jerk, and I realized how great I had it with my Daddy [although this was before he was my Daddy, at this point he was a a really good friend that had potential]. The only thing I worried about was the distance, how could I deal with that? But I decided not to worry and let things happen as they do, no pressure. Then he proposed that he come and visit me. The singer who sings "our song" was in my area. He bought tickets [a true gentleman!!!] and came up. After a bit of arranging, we finally met. Mindblowing sex and a fantastic guy. It was too good to be true. I could write for hours about that weekend that we spent together. I realized some way through it that I loved him. He was everything that he had said, and we fit. He was what I was looking for. Things that I was looking for that I didn't even know I was looking for.

*sighs* that blog does not even do us justice. It was purely magical and wonderful. I am soooo lucky that not only he messaged me, but that I saw past the "newbie" and saw the wonderful man that I now love.

<3 Jonsbabydoll

What is Babydoll into?

I have a list of things that I like that is constantly evolving. I have found out recently that I like being choked! Mmmm, it is delightful. I think the easiest way to do this is to just copy the list of fetishes I have on another site. I will say before I start that some of these are not [in my opinion] fetishes. However, I enjoy them a lot. And they are on my other list.

  • 1950s household- this is something that at a future point I will go into and definitely blog about. This being a "fetish" is sort of if-y for me. This is how I believe that marriages/relationships will work out for me. That is what I have seen work. It is how I feel that things should be.
  • 24/7- This is a fancy term for living the lifestyle all the time. I agree with this for me, not for everyone, but nothing is for EVERYONE, so all I care about, is what it does for me.
  • asphyxiaphilia- this is new to me. My Daddy introduced me to the brilliance of it in May and I cannot get enough! It is one of the best things I have experienced.
  • bare bottom spanking- I love being spanked. The impact to my bare flesh is always adored. When I am clothed, it is a turn on, don't get me wrong, but there is something about the bite of it when it is bare flesh.
  • bare handed spanking- flesh on flesh. What more is there to say?
  • bareback- I cannot stand condoms. They are awful things. I can say this because I trust my partners and know that they are D&D free [just like me].
  • bdsm- does this need an explanation?
  • biting- seriously, bite me. Mmmm, makes my knees weak.
  • blow jobs- I have loved blowjobs since the first time I gave one. I get off on knowing that I am getting my guy off. I can also say with a good amount of certainty that I am darned good at giving blowjobs too.
  • breath play- once again, Daddy introduced this to me and I cannot get enough.
  • choking- thinking about His hands wrapped around my neck, serious wet panties right there.
  • d/s- this is something that I crave. It is not just about the pain, but the power that the other person has over me. Being able to tell me to do something, and having me listen.
  • daddy daughter roleplay
  • erotic photography- behind and in front of the camera, I love both!
  • exhibitionism- Sex in public, the thrill of getting caught, a huuuuuuuge turn on. I have done some things that I have loved doing, but I cannot wait to do more!!!!!!
  • face fucking- who doesn't like a good face fucking? It's the greatness of giving head with a mix of brutality. YUMMY!
  • face slapping- Daddy introduced this to me. I don't think I would let anyone else do it. It is very... intimate. I love my face, him slapping me like that... it intensifies everything. The sting... it is one of the best things.
  • hair pulling- I have long hair for a reason people!!!!
  • handcuffs- my favorite restraint [as of yet]
  • humiliation- humiliate me. Please.
  • making home movies- ah, the memories...
  • masochism- I'm a pain slut. Not much else to say.
  • oral sex- without getting into a whole entire back story, I much more enjoy GIVING oral sex than receiving. However remembering my Daddy doing it... it gives me immediate "hot" feelings.
  • orgasm denial- this is something I am new to. I like it and cannot wait to play around with it more.
  • pain- I'm a pain slut.
  • phone sex- I may be horrrrrrrrrrible at it, but my Daddy's voice and what he says... I swear, he gets me off like no one else can.
  • pigtails- not too many girls over the age of nine can get away with pigtails in public. You need to have the right face [and attitude in my opinion]. I definitely have the right face for it.
  • play rape- alright, now in my opinion, this might be one of the most "hot button" fetishes on my list. I do not condone real rape. However I am a consenting adult. If I chose to play rape, that is what I chose.
  • sex in public- exhibitionist, remember?
  • spanking- I have told you all about the wonderful goodness of spankings above.
  • spitting- Something else that my Daddy turned me on to. Him spitting on my pussy, oh my goodness!
  • verbal humiliation and degradation- complete turn on, trust me, nothing soaks my panties more than being told I am a common whore only good for having cum dumped on me. Well, maybe being called a slut soaks them more... something about "slut" is just... *shudders* delicious.

<3>

My introduction to pain.

So this is my little synopsis on how exactly I found my way into all of this yummy depravity.

I was dating this extremely hot guy. I will admit, I was dating him because it gave me a rush. I did not love him. I really did not even like him. But he was a Bad Boy. He drank, he smoked, he had that Bad Boy air about him. All the girls out there know exactly what I am talking about. Well, I started dating him my freshman year of high school. He was jealous. He had a mean streak from here to Rome. However, that made me want him more.

One day, I did something to make him upset, and he hit me. It's not something that I am proud of, but I excused his behavior. Years later, I cannot remember what that first hit was even about. But it didn't stop. Oh sure, he apologized, but apparently they all do. He was smart [especially considering he was only a sophomore in high school], the marks were always able to be hidden by clothing. I can't explain what happened when he hit me, but something about the power he had over me, it turned me on. He brought the pain into the bedroom, spanking. Wow, it was great. I loved it. I loved it so much, I excused what I knew was inappropriate behavior in other aspects of our relationship. Eventually the relationship fell apart. I experienced a lot of things with him for the first time in my life. [role play, rape play, spankings, among others] I think that he had the same [but opposite] needs that I did. We didn't know how to verbalize them or act on them properly. I had this urge, desire, need, to submit and to feel pain mixed with pleasure. He had the same urge but opposite, but to dominate and dole out pain. I am thankful to him for letting me realize at a young age that it was in fact what I want.

To be honest, my wants were never judged by him. I would tell him that I wanted to be raped, and he would do it. I never felt wrong or gross or like a horrible person because I needed something sexually to get me off. We both understood on an unspoken level that what we were doing was consensual, and we knew that real rape was wrong. At that age, how do you express that to your partner though? It's pretty damn hard.

He has moved away and I don't talk to him anymore, but I suspect that once he explores a little bit more, he could develop into a wonderful Dom for some lucky girl.

So, that is what brought me to the realization that I crave pain. I love to be used. I want to be abused. I want to be told what to do, and do it. I am here to fulfill needs.

<3 Jonsbabydoll

Welcome.

Alright, if you are reading this, there is a couple of things that I need to set straight. I will not tolerate intolerance. I am an open person in general. My close friends know what I am into and while some may not understand, they all accept me. That is a show of the fact that they are in fact my friend. I have a couple of not "the norm" sexual preferences. It has taken me a while to fully understand and accept my desires. Everything that I partake in is consentual. You may not understand, in which case, ask me a question. I am [like I said before] extremely open. If I don't know the answer, I will find a source who can answer the question for you.

If you are walking off the internet highway, some of the nicknames I use are previously established on my other blog. I have been battling with myself as to what to put where, what should I talk about where, and this is my solution to that. The other blog will just be daily life ramblings. This is the fun stuff ;) .

I am wondering how exactly to kick this all off, do I tell you all about how I first discovered my love for pain and submission, do I tell you about all the yummy things that I like, or do I tell you how I have met a wonderful Man [my Daddy] who does all these naughty things to me?

Perhaps I will blog about all three. Fair warning though, this blog may talk about things that you are not comfortable with. This blog is not here for you to tell me that I am wrong/sick/disgusting. I am writing to chronicle my life. Fully. I hope you enjoy.

<3 Soul

Keep in Mind

Please keep in mind that everything I write is my opinion and what works for me. Please don't ever feel like I am trying to force my ways on you, or that I feel your way is wrong. Things are different in every M/s, D/s, T/b relationship. What works for me may not work for you or the next person. It is all I know and therefore all I can write about. Please feel free to comment and let me know how your relationship or opinion differs though. :) Much love!

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