Spank me harder.

My ex used to spank me all the time. He was not as strong as my Daddy, but he was strong. He would spank me over and over and over again until I was crying and begging him to stop. At which point he would usually finger me until I came, then had me sit [ouch!] on a wooden chair and blow him until he came. He got off not only on the stimulation that my mouth provided but the pain he knew I was feeling as I was doing it. Enough about that though... This happened quite often. I built up a tolerance to it. In the beginning I could take ten to twenty hits, and at the end of our relationship I was taking many many many more.

I miss that tolerance. It has been more than a little bit since I have been with him, so when Daddy and I were together, the spankings hurt like hell. I will admit, I felt like I let him down. I felt like such a disappointment. I wanted more, I really did, I want to be able to take more hits, harder hits. I felt myself squirming subconsciously. I felt myself trying to get away from the hits. When he started spanking me while I was going down on him, it hurt. I know, that doesn't make any sense, I like the pain. The pain turns me on, but I just felt like I was a wussy. I felt like such a disappointment. I wish that I could take more. I wanted more. In my head I could hear my brain pleading for more and more and MORE. However, my butt was screaming for it to stop... I want the pain. I feel like I am such a... failure almost. :( I really do want more though...