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Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Kneeling Num 3

In what way can you improve your submissive nature?

This was a really tough one for me to think about. I think because my submissive nature, isn't something I think about, it sort of just is who I am. It isn't something I think about improving, because it is just me. Now that I said that, there are things I think I can improve on obviously, but that is just an explanation as to why this kneeling thought process was difficult for me.

I think the biggest things is doing what I'm told as many times as I'm told. The thing that stuck out for me in my second ten minutes was that I was given a task for this week, to melt twenty ice cubes in my pussy over seven days. I melted two the second day and one today [the third]. It hurts like hell. I've had ice on/in my pussy before and I know it is not something I really enjoy without other things in play. I knew it would hurt and made comments about it. Every time that I updated Daddy on the status of my ice number, I would say something along the lines of "it really hurt" or "very unpleasant" or "I really don't like it". My Daddy today changed the task to just one ice cube a day. This made me extremely happy. All of the things I said were true, but perhaps to improve my submissive nature I should wait until a task is completed fully to make comments. Because it wasn't complaining... at least, not what I consider complaining, it was merely comments. However, I can see how the comments could be construed as poor submissive behavior. I never made a positive comment about it. It was always negative, negative, negative. I can see how this would wear a person down.

I feel sort of bad because that is really the only thing that came into my mind. The whole twenty minutes. I thought of how from time to time I don't hear something my Daddy says and he has to repeat it, but that is not my nature, that is just my hearing. I said before, this was a really hard one for me. I wish that I could think of more, because I want to be the best submissive for him. I want to be the best everything for him. I love him so much and any way that I can improve, I want to. I want to be able to be everything he wants and more.

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Please keep in mind that everything I write is my opinion and what works for me. Please don't ever feel like I am trying to force my ways on you, or that I feel your way is wrong. Things are different in every M/s, D/s, T/b relationship. What works for me may not work for you or the next person. It is all I know and therefore all I can write about. Please feel free to comment and let me know how your relationship or opinion differs though. :) Much love!

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