My Kinky Life

I have written about my family before here, and how they found out about my Daddy and some of them know I am kinky. Before, when I was hiding my Daddy from them, I was sad and upset. I hate lying and I really hated hiding a part of myself from my mother especially. My mom and I are the only two people in my nuclear family. We were always really close and I pretty much told her everything. I knew there would come a time where I would not tell her everything, however it felt strange when it happened.

I was relieved when my mom found out about my Daddy and I, because it meant I could stop lying about where I was going and who I was talking to. However, I was only met with more hiding that I did not even consider before, my kinkiness. I feel like I want to talk to her, but I realize that she does not understand. She said something yesterday about how she doesn't think sex should be like how I have it. She made some comments about how she doesn't understand why it has to be like that every time. Then, when I tried to tell her that it isn't like that every time, she didn't want to listen because she doesn't want to know about my sex life. I will say, I don't want her knowing about my sex life either. However, I don't want her walking around believing things that aren't true.

I understand that she doesn't understand what I am doing. As much as I want to sit next to her and tell her how excited I am about things such as collaring, I know that she doesn't [and most likely will never] understand. It saddens me to a certain degree. It actually saddens me quite a bit. There is nothing I can do about it. I can only hope to move forward and get back to a semi-regular relationship. Hopefully one day she will stop judging me. Fingers crossed.