Surrender

“Sometimes what seems like surrender isn’t surrender at all. It’s about what’s going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater.”- Nicholas Evans, The Horse Whisperer.

I asked my Daddy if there was anything about which he would like me to blog. He gave me the above quote. There is a lot of different directions I can take this blog, so bear with me if this jumps at some points. The first thing that I thought when I read this, was about the truth in my surrender. I have felt inside of me, that my surrender to someone would be something that I not only needed, but it would need to be to the right person and for the right reason.

I am a very opinionated and have no problem voicing my opinion. My fantasies about men have always been that they were big and strong and could shut me up. It wasn't a forceful duct-tape silence, but with his... presence. It isn't even about the silence, because as my Daddy could tell you, I like to talk. Heck, anyone could tell you that I talk a lot. I like talking. I like communicating. However, my talking in this is representing something much bigger. I am handing over my willfulness. I am handing over my stubbornness. I am handing it over for something so beautiful. I am letting him take over. He has complete control over me. It is something that I have recently thought over. I haven't really talked to him about it. When I first realized it, I realized that anything that he told me to do, I would do. I have complete trust in him. It freaked me out a little.

Like I said before, I am a strong and smart woman. Even though I knew I wanted this, it scared me to realize that I was right in the middle of what I wanted. It wasn't an immediate thing. He gained my trust and I surrendered more to him. It took me some time of actually evaluating what exactly it all meant for everything that I am. Then I came to the realization that just because I have surrendered myself over to him, doesn't mean that I am not a strong woman. He is the right man though, because he could get me to this point. I realized how great the point that we are at is. I feel so comfortable with him. I am his. I love typing that... I am his. When he growls "mine", my pussy gets unimaginably wet.

If I was hiding this, trying to follow my 'nilla peers, I would not be happy. I would always be unsatisfied. That is why what I have, what I am, what I like, is beautiful. It is wonderful. I love me. Being all of me, is great.