Such a change.

I feel like I need to write. It will be much easier to write this out and perhaps post it on fetlife than explain it multiple times via private messages.

I will be moving back to Chicago.

I am moving out of my Daddy's home and back in with my mother. Part of my shudders to even type that. I swore up and down that I would never move back. I promised. Things have changed.

For people who know me intimately, know that my mother is a bit... off her hinge.

She needs some help and the only way that will happen is if I am there to help her.

I don't want to come off as a saint though. This decision is not all based on her. I'm doing this for me partially as well. I don't have a job where I am with my Daddy, and schooling down there is not my cup of tea. Moving back in with my mother will solve those problems. I will not have them handed to me like I was getting previously, however this makes me happier in a sense too.

I am assuming much more responsibility with this move. As it was put to me, I am no longer in a parent-child relationship. I will be in a parent-adult relationship.

Daddy and I talked and talked and talked, and I cried, about this decision. He felt that it was in my best interest to make the decision and not have him make the decision. I'm not going to lie, I wanted him to make the decision. I wanted to take the easy road out. I didn't want the responsibility of making it. However, I realize now that he was so helpful with me in making that decision. This does not change our relationship, only the distance.

As he has told me many times, the distance doesn't change the amount of love we have for one another. I know I will have a hard time sleeping again. I know that there will be many tears. But I also know that he is working to move to Chicago too. I love him, and he loves me.

He supports this because as he says, I need to do this now so the 'us' in the future can work out. I love him and I thank him for talking me through this. I know that this is the right choice for me to be making logically, even if emotionally when I think about it I feel like a train has hit me.

I was worried that it would feel like a step back in our relationship, but it won't be. We survived living together. Our love is strong. Our relationship has strengthened. I love him with all of my heart, body, and soul. Just because we once again are assuming a long distance relationship doesn't hurt us, it makes us stronger.